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Splash
Growing up, my very, very favorite movie was Splash. It may have even inspired my love for the color orange. It came out in 1984 and stars Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah, along with John Candy and Eugene Levy. Allen, a lonely and depressed man who wants nothing more than a normal life-long relationship is reunited with a mermaid he met as a child when she saves him from drowning. She comes to New York to see him again, exchanging her fins for feet, and their strange romance ensues as she navigates a new world and he remains oblivious about her true self. Meanwhile a crack scientist suspects she is a mermaid and begins following them around trying to reveal her to the world to prove he is not crazy.
I will say up front that my one regret about loving this movie so much is that it definitely follows the "born sexy yesterday" trope as outlined by Pop Culture Detective on YouTube, meaning that it is about a nice guy who has had lousy luck in love with normal women then suddenly has the chance to be with a woman who sees him as the pinnacle of love because she has never known anything else. (There is some hint that there are other merpeople for her to love, but they are never shown so I will not delve too much into that.) While there is nothing frightening or hostile about the relationship in Splash since she chooses to seek him out, it is good to keep in mind that for much of the movie we are rooting for a man who let a strange non-English-speaking woman into his home and enthusiastically participates in the romantic relationship she desires. It is romantic that there is no other man for her in the world, but she also does not know any other men (at least human ones). This plays into a fantasy where a man who has trouble with women suddenly has the most gorgeous woman throw herself at him whether or not he is perfect. He is the nice guy to her, whether or not he really is. We all want to be loved just the way we are, but we need to remember that some people do need to change and should not feel entitled to a relationship. Towards the end, it is nearly time for our leading mermaid to go home and Allen does all he can to keep her in New York with him, going so far as to get angry and start shouting at her. She ends up deciding to stay with him, choosing him over a life of freedom in the ocean. As the audience we can see that he is sad, lonely, hurt, and sorry for his actions, so we feel good about her decision, but from the mermaid's perspective he did not conduct himself well at all. Any women watching should keep in mind that their lover does not get to guilt trip them into staying.
Anyway, moving on. Why is Splash worth watching? First and foremost, I think everyone who enjoys practical effects should watch the underwater mermaid scenes at least once. They are really seamless and beautiful, especially compared to other mermaid movies that came in the '90's and 2000's like Hook and Aquamarine. (The mermaids in Hook are meant to look overly fantastical, so that is fine, but the fish tail in Aquamarine is completely CGI.) The tail technicians seem to have really tried hard to make it look real. It has scales and fins, and the orange and brown colors seem specifically chosen to give it a lively appearance. The fins even have bits of skin and peelings around them. The only thing really pretty about the tail is its shape; otherwise it looks like a current-beaten ocean goldfish. Perhaps the one downside is that you can definitely tell where the actress's leg joints are, but she swims so wonderfully and naturally that you hardly pay attention to that. There are some shows like H20: Just Add Water in which the mermaids swim with their hands straight out in front of them to cut through the water and while they look fine, it does not look nearly as effortless as the mermaid in Splash.
Speaking of the mermaid, the name she chooses for herself is Madison despite initial protests from Allen. She got the idea from the name of a street. When I was young, I thought it was really strange that he would have a problem with her choosing Madison because I knew a few girls with that name in my class. As it turns out, Madison was not a common first name, let alone girl's name, before the early '90's when Splash had been out for a while, according to my mom. She says it was always a surname before that, so she thought it was a weird girls' name when she started hearing it around.
So, is the romance between Madison and Allen any good? As a biased party, I cannot answer that. What I can say is that the twists and turns are enjoyable, and that the ending really makes the movie. It really is a two-sided story because we see both Allen's perspective as a normal businessman running the company he inherited from his father as well as Madison's perspective as something akin to an alien. And this is a comedic romance, so there are more characters than just Madison and Allen to watch. Allen's brother played by John Candy is a lot of fun and a huge support to the relationship, and Eugene Levy is very funny as the crack scientist out to prove to the world that mermaids exist, no matter the cost to his dignity. Perhaps I will simply describe the film in its entirety.
- Spoilers -
Years ago, Allen took a trip with his family on a boat out to Cape Cod. He saw something in the water and jumped in without a second thought, where he met a young mermaid his age. They shared a few brief minutes together before he was fished out and dried off.
Today, Allen is lonely and depressed after his girlfriend leaves him right before his friend Jerry's wedding. Still in their suits, Allen and his brother Freddie go to a bar to drink away Allen's sorrows. Freddie is a large man with a real lust for life, mostly when it comes to women and cars, and he tries to set Allen up with some pretty ladies. Instead, Allen takes a cab all the way to Cape Cod from Manhattan in an attempt to find himself. The following morning he gets dropped off on the wrong end of the beach and comes across a scientist named Cornbluth who is preparing for a dive. Eventually he finds someone who can take him out to the island where he feels like he will find what he is looking for. Unfortunately, the little motor boat has some problems and his escort abandons him to swim back to shore for another boat. Allen naively tries to fix it himself, accidentally turning it on to full power, sending him flying out. On the way back around the boat hits him in the head and he sinks into the water, only to be saved by a woman. He wakes up on the beach to see a naked woman who says nothing, but gives him a kiss.
At this point, the perspective changes from Allen to the woman, who turns into a mermaid once back in the water. She discovers his wallet and brings it to an old sunken ship to compare the words on his license to the ones on a map, directing her to New York City. She makes her way there and arrives on Ellis Island completely naked, so she is taken to the police station. Allen is called since she speaks no English and only has his wallet with her. He is thrilled to see her and takes her home, and so romantic antics ensue. Allen is unbelievably happy at work, worrying everyone. After a day of shopping and watching TV, the mermaid learns English and chooses the name Madison for herself.
Meanwhile, Doctor Cornbluth is determined to find the mermaid. He caught a glimpse of her underwater and although he did not get a picture of her, he remembers her face. When he hears the news about a naked woman in New York, he goes there to search. He ends up following Allen and Madison around, waiting for an opportunity to spray her with water and failing again and again.
Allen and Madison run into trouble when he learns that she plans to leave soon. Something about the moon being full allows her to stay, then she will have to go or she may never be able to go back. Allen is endlessly frustrated that she will not tell him more about her home. They don't wear clothes, they don't speak English, they don't seem to do anything that normal people do. So, when he proposes to her and she says she cannot, Allen breaks down and yells at her, taking out all his pain on her until she runs away. In the morning she finds him again, as he was also out all night, and tells him she will stay. Allen is excited to plan some sort of quick marriage ceremony, while Madison tells him that she must tell him her secret before they take that step. They end up going to a fancy dinner together, where Cornbluth follows them. His concealed water tank is mistaken for a gun or bomb, so he is thrown out. Unfortunately, right at that moment, Madison decides she is ready to try and tell Allen about herself, and they walk outside. There, Cornbluth succeeds in hosing her down and she changes into a mermaid there on the sidewalk in front of everyone.
Allen is protected by Freddie during the bombardment of media and paparazzi. He is in shock after seeing Madison shoved into a black car, then being forced to stand in a water tank for eight hours while the scientists waited to see if he changed. During that time he saw Madison once and was too freaked out to embrace her, or even look at her. Now, Freddie informs him that he is an idiot for thinking this is a deal breaker just because he wanted a normal life when in reality not everyone finds a love like his. At the same time, Cornbluth is beginning to regret his actions. He sees that the researchers working on her case are not treating her very well and are keeping her in a relatively small tank. When Allen and Freddie track him down to question him, he ends up offering a way to free her, since he has access to the facility.
Allen and Freddie dress in white coats and pretend to be Swedish doctors arriving with Cornbluth to examine the mermaid, and somehow they make it inside. Madison has a brief reunion with Allen before they begin the escape plan. She is dried off and wrapped in sheets, then carried out as though something bad happened to one of the doctors. They get in the car and begin driving away, but soon the military is onto them. A full car chase ensues as they rush through New York traffic with various military vehicles behind them. Cornbluth tries to act as a diversion, but they ignore him and follow Allen's car. When they reach the docks, Allen tells Madison to go and she explains that he can join her, but in that moment he is not strong enough. She goes, only to be followed by a helicopter with divers. Allen jumps in after her despite being a terrible swimmer and she breathes life into him so they can swim off together. They get past the divers, and continue on to the glowing underwater city.
I would compare the ending of Splash to shaving your legs. As a woman, you usually shave your legs for your partner's benefit despite the time and effort it takes. When you decide you maybe want to stop, it is hard to because you do not want them to feel repulsed or make you feel guilty. In this case, when Allen finally takes the plunge into the water and makes the choice to go to her world, it feels like the moment when your partner volunteers to shave too. The effort is rewarded with an equal effort, proving the relationship is a mutual effort. (Please do not think I am telling men to shave their legs. They can shave their pubes or whatever body hair the couple deems less appealing. Or both parties can just stop shaving altogether.)
Practical effects, romantic gestures, comedic injury, car chases...what kind of a movie is this, Madison??
Oh, and I heard there was a sequel called Splash Too, but it looks awful.
All pictures found on Google Images.
